I wish I didn’t have to post this drawing, I really don’t like it. But it was instrumental ina decision I’ve just made, to drop shading and use only line for a while. It was the shading thatspoiled this drawing. There was a stage, when I was still just laying out the main shapes withline, that this drawing started to come together. It was even beggining to live as a likeness.But then I started shading and it all ran away from me.
It was a straight rerun of my last self portrait, when I thought I had something and then it ran awayfrom me. That drawing was responible for my reassessment, and starting the cafe sketches.
Thankfully I didn’tget wound up by this drawing going awry like I did last time though. My drawing is stronger now andmy confidence is growing, so it doesn’t shake me as much when I draw badly. Also I’ve got quitea bit of bad drawing under my belt over the last few months, and now I know it’s possible to sit downthe next day and turn out a comparatively nice one.
I think I look mad. It sort of looks like me, but it doesn’t. This is a bad drawing of what Ilook like when I’m struggling with a drawing, know it’s running away from me, but can’t leave it aloneand keep obsessively fiddling trying to get it back. Lesson learned. Next drawing is going tobe another self portrait,just line, no shading. It’s going to be a test of whether this drawing only with line idea canbreak me out of this weird thing I have with self portraits, and help me to just draw what I see. Itreally shouldn’t be this hard.
Posted 17th April 2006
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