I’ve been working on this painting for five days now.
At the beginning, I was feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety, as I usually do.
Excitement at what the picture could be, and anxiety that I won’t be able to get it there.
When I’m working on a painting for more than a day, somewhere around the middle things change. There are moments when I’m lost in what I’m doing and the paint flows.
But there are also times when it becomes hard to keep going. Even moments of despondency, sometimes. Usually followed by excitement again when I think I’ve figured something out.
As I feel I’m coming close to the end, the excitement and the tension build. I might just make it. That vision I had when I started might just become a reality.
And then it doesn’t.
I force myself to keep going. Look for things I can improve. Try to make sure the big things, value, colour, drawing, are good.
I often decide more than once the painting is finished with, but then end up going back to it to try to improve something else I’ve decided is letting it down.
This last stage can become very drawn out if I don’t watch it.
So why is it so hard to finish sometimes?
Here’s what I think: It’s because it means you’ve committed to this being the best you can do right now, at this moment in time.
You’ve given it everything you had.
And it’s fallen short of your hopes. Because they all do.
It’s just like having a dream, and working towards it.
One of the biggest reasons for procrastination I think is that once you’ve committed to doing something, you’ll make it real and bring it into the world. You’ll put it in front of people with all its imperfections and shortcomings and say: This is what I’ve made. This is the best that I can do.
If you never do that, if you endlessly plan and dream, then you never have to face judgement – and your own will always be the most harsh.
You’ll never have to admit your own shortcomings to yourself.
That’s what makes progress so hard – it means that you have to become painfully aware of the gap between where you are now and where you’d like to be, where you are in your perfect, idealised dream of the thing.
So that’s why finishing a painting is so hard. Because you’ve shown yourself that gap, the distance between your dream and the reality.
And now you’ve seen it, you know you’ll have to work to close it.
But still you must commit, because, uncomfortable as it is, that is the only way you ever will make progress toward that elusive, unreachable dream.
And in the end, it’s not achieving the dream that matters, it’s making progress towards it.
Being better today than you were yesterday. And working, however uncomfortable it makes you, to being better tomorrow than you are today.
So start your painting and finish it. Put your dreams and hopes on the line. Draw a line under it and say: “This is the best that I can do. The next one, I will try to make better.”
A famous artist’s quote goes something like, “paintings are never finished, just abandoned”. The fact that this quote has been variously attributed to many different artists, in slightly different forms, probably points to its veracity.
What do you think?
Best wishes and thanks for reading,
Paul
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Totally agree, I’d just make a little edit to your line – “This is the best that I can do. The next one, I will try to make better.”
> This is the best I can do NOW, the next one WILL be better.
“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” – wise old Yoda 😀
*like* 🙂
I need a makeover because every painting I finish that I feel is the best that I know how to do is a blessed triumph ! I work them until I cannot see any better results than what I did !
I have been struggling with a charcoal portrait by, I do not know, maybe three weeks, and I feel unmotivated. I just want to leave it, and begin a new project. But here is when discipline and compromise can help me. I will finish this portrait because I am learning, and leaving is not an option because I want to be a master, and there is not other way to achieve my goals than working, hard working.
Thank you for sharing your toughts and experiences. You are a friend, in this beautiful way…
Thanks again Paul for wonderful wisdom!
I usually wait until the painting or drawing tells me it’s finished.
Fear of Success. Some people are afraid to succeed, but not to fail…. That could also be a part of it.
Good point Glenn, could be!
This is it! You have stated it brilliantly! Insightful. I have stated the very words, “This is what I am able to do right now. I must grow to learn to do it better.” It helps to see someone else put these feelings into words. Just keep growing and getting better with each step along the way. Thank you!
You’re very welcome Lyn, glad it helped 🙂
Perfectly and succinctly put – perfectionism is such a barrier to creativity.Thank you for your wise words as always .
I enjoyed this and it gave me insight. Think I will ponder your comments a bit more. Is there really a need for the artist to be so critical of the work, it’s our art, our own work. Maybe attitude and joy should stay and overcritical should go. Thanks.
Ah if only that were possible! I think part of the self criticism comes from the fact that our identities as we perceive them are intimately tied up with our work. Our work is us in a way it isn’t for most people. At least, not quite so much perhaps. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.
I’d much rather have days full of meaning and struggle than steady ones filled with boredom and mediocrity – been there, done that, didn’t even want the t-shirt.
Your paintings are so delicate, one can see the feeling in them. my problem is the taking of five days…I am a pastelist and moving on to oils. i can’t grasp the concept of dealing with paint drying , or how long you can keep working over the same area…do you work on sections? and complete each section before paint dries….I am slow and will never get a painting finished in 2 or 3 days.
Well, it varies for me, depending on what I think the painting needs. Painting flowers from life has specific demands. I had to get the pink rose finished on the first day because I knew the flower would have changed too much by the following day. The same with the yellow one.
Once those two days of work were done I didn’t touch them again, and my approach to flowers is a pretty simple, direct painting one. It has to be. The next three days were mostly filling in the blanks, trying to make a unified painting and get the overall balance of the values and colour right n relation to the roses. I’ve been over the background on this one two or three times, but I painted it very thinly to begin with so it dried fast. The same with the table top.
The last day I could have probably got away with not doing. And I’m quite possibly going to do a bit more on the table top still, which it probably doesn’t need!
Through all this, the roses will remain unchanged though.
After each painting session, I write in Trello what I have done that day. Then I look and look, and write a checklist for things to address in the next painting session. In this last painting, I did a glaze over some buildings on the shady side of a street, and it snapped the picture into a level of “doneness” that surprised me! One more “looking looking” and I’ll finish up anything that pops up and then I sign it! The explicitness of describing these things to Trello brings the process clearer than when it is unexpressed in my head! Easier to finish this way, which does not mean that I don’t see things way down the track that I might want to fix or change!
That’s a brilliant idea! I’m a fan of trello too, I use it to organise my life!
That’s a reminder, I signed up for Trello a few weeks ago when you recommended it Paul.
Haven’t even looked at it since, ironically haven’t had the time 🙂
hehe 🙂
Thank you, Paul, for this insightful commentary. Most artists are their own worst critics. A painting often looks better if there’s some time for it to be set aside. I was highly critical of a little painting I did a few years ago that included an orange. I finally decided enough was enough – I framed it and hung it in my studio. And you know what? It’s not half bad. In fact, it even makes me smile now – because I labored long and hard over that little orange, plate and grapes. Am I tempted to try to make the orange look a little better? Nope! It’s signed and framed and I’m done.
I know what you mean, I have some of those too 🙂
The Heinlein rules for writing came to my mind from this: 1. You must write. 2. You must finish what you have started. 3. You must refrain from rewriting. Etc.
The third one might not be so literal but a way of saying that same thing about abandonment.
But I have always trouble finishing paintings, or rather returning to unfinished paintings. Probably it’s because I have no routine in knowing EXACTLY how to proceed to get the finish I want, and I then get too afraid. One solution might be doing multiple paintings on the same subject with slightly different procedures?
Hm, now that’s an interesting idea! But, what if you couldn’t get any of them finished? 😉
You clarified it! Thank you.
Plate,
I’m experiencing something like the opposite you are. I’ve spent most of the last year learning new techniques that let me finish faster, and I think the results are improved also.
I usually have enough pieces working that I can switch from one to another seamlessly, but lately the finish comes so quickly that I have gaps. This happened on Saturday, and with nothing to do I decided to take a small copper panel and try a technique I’ve been thinking about attempting. And it worked so well I’m folding it into my regular process.
Wow that’s a nice position to be in! I’m not envious at all.
BTW when I was unpacking my materials in the new studio I unearthed some copper plates I bought on your recommendation years ago, and now I have to do something with the 🙂 Do you prime them with lead white?
Hi, Paul.
A very humbling post which I needed to hear. I’m working on a charcoal portrait of a sculpture bust and just cannot seem to move any further with it even though it’s in a very beginner stage. But I’ll continue!
Also, I did have a question about your “100 Still Life Drawings” challenge. What exactly are the sizes of those, and what type of paper are they done on? Some seem to be larger, while others I would guess are small- even 15cmx15cm. The paper looks to be toned paper also, such as newsprint or something for conte crayons. Also, how long did they usually take you? They are very rendered which seems to take time, but you comment on how you like to finish things quickly for value studies like that.
I just came across your blog recently and have been a silent reader, but thank you for all the insight so far! I’m highly enjoying it.
Thanks Sophie!
Those studies were done mostly on pastel or charcoal paper, if memory serves. I would buy pads of the paper and keep going until all the pages were used.
The sizes varied but mostly they were very small, sometimes only 3 inches across – working that small definitely makes it easier to get them finished more quickly.
I think the level of rendering is something of an illusion, though, they were mostly fairly simple and I would work on them for an hour or so. If you state value fairly simply but well, you need to render less for it to look convincing, I think.
This is the absolute truth!
I have been working on a double portrait for most of 18 months. Yes, 18 months. But please allow me the disclaimer that I have been learning a lot and honing my technique. It is nearly finished and as one can see from the progress shots, the faces have become more true to the real life couple. Those two people will be looking at the painting for the rest of their lives. I owe it to them to get it right.
My husband says that in the community of people who build small aircraft there is a saying, 90% finished, 80% to go.
Oh I love that saying! I’ve never heard it before but it’s so true!
Great article, very thought out and I couldn’t agree more with you!
Thank you, that is so helpful
Thank you very much for posting your enlightening and comforting message.
It’s such a relief to know that others struggle with finishing a project and accepting that this very real piece is as close as it can be (right now) to the one that lives in my head. It seems to be a matter of valuing the ‘journey’ as much as the ‘destination’… that the experience and lessons learned while completing one project pave the way to all the other, even better ones, that will follow.
Thank you!
This makes me want to go out there and work on a piece that I’ve abandoned. This article was spot on!
Thanks Kari, that’s great to hear 🙂
We are many obviously. Perhaps it’s because a fully formed idea in your mind actually only occupies about 20% of the canvas. That other 80% soon becomes the problem. That nightmare the background.