Yellow Roses, Oil on Linen Panel, 7 x 9.5 inches
Currently at auction, click here to view
Every morning, before anyone else in the house is awake, I sit in the kitchen and write in my journal.
It’s a quiet space I set aside for thinking, planning my day, encouraging myself, occasionally berating myself.
Sometimes, just to write with no plan for what might come out.
One day near the start of this year, I wrote a sentence that frightened me a little:
“This year I will become an excellent flower painter.”
I remember sitting looking at that sentence for a while, surprised that I’d written it.
What surprised me most is that I didn’t include the word “try.” So I knew I really wanted to do it.
I also didn’t write “good” or “competent”, I wrote “excellent”.
This isn’t comfortable for me to share.
This is a private dream, a hope, something to reach for. Something that might seem cheapened somehow if I shared it. Perhaps a little less likely to happen.
But now you know why I’ve been obsessively painting flowers this summer. And slowly, I do believe I’m moving in toward that goal.
I’m not sure it’s a goal I’ll ever be able to say I feel I’ve achieved, but it seems important to me, so I’ll keep reaching for it.
As I was painting these roses, they seemed to me to be trying to reach toward the light. I emphasised their movement, because it resonated with me.
It’s quite a frightening thing to do, to share a goal of great personal importance with several thousand people. Perhaps even with one.
It makes it more real, something you can’t dodge or forget about.
So, if you have a goal, or a dream that your frightened to share, I want to invite you to share it with me. Email me and let me know what it is. It will stay between us.
I know it’s not easy. But we both might be more likely to make real progress towards our most fondly held goals, just by sharing them.
If it’s too uncomfortable, I understand. I wasn’t planning to share mine today.
But I suddenly feel that I’m taking it much more seriously.
I wonder if it might make me push myself just a little further the next time I’m painting a flower.
Best wishes and thanks for reading,
Paul
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It’s hard to contact you, i sent you an email days ago i just want to know some info about your course, please check it.
Not only are you one of the best artists I’ve ever known, but because of your generosity of sharing your journey and knowledge of colors, I was able to achieve my dream of having prints of my work and people actually buying them! You’ve taught me in a way I could understand and do myself! I will always be honored that I met you all those years ago! Thank you, Paul, for helping me be the artist I needed to be. Cancer has slowed my progress but not my desire.
Hi Paul,
Kudos for sharing your goal. Artistic dreams are birthed not in blazing bonfires of passion, but in the rubble of the hearth that we are all trying to build. There our greatest strength as artists is to recognize the longevity of the coals turned embers who will one day set fire to hearts around us.
I am a pencil and watercolor artist who stumbled over your blogpost about value studies, I was searching “color as value” and was blessed by your meticulous presentations about values, the usage of the Munsell system.
When I have digested the information I look forward to try it out. Because I like what I see in your oils. I chose watercolor for its luminosity and transparency, but looking at your paintings I see the light and bright ephemeral glow that I adore about watercolors. So I’m hanging around to be blessed by your work.
My artistic dream has changed since I came to God a few years ago. Before I wanted to be commercial successful, with my semi-cartoonish art and love for drawing people. I wanted to measure my artistic merit according to how many people would own my art. Now, it has changed slightly. I want to make works that burst with my delight and joy for God, and his love for the world in Christ Jesus. In much sickness and opposition and difficulties with the people around me, I have been blessed to see that each person has a wicker inside their heart and the desire to glow.
And if I can set fire to just one heart and make one person laugh in exasperation and surrender as their world is transformed, just like I was transformed when I saw your work and thought “huh really, oils!!? What is the world coming to?” because beauty cannot be denied.
Kind regards and strength and luck to your pursuit.
EMH
Trust me Paul, you are very nearly there in accomplishing your dream! I’ve watched your work over the years progress to exceptional levels. Stay confident in the path you are taking!